It all just got too hard

Actually, that's the long and short of it. My father is physically exhausted, has lost his hair and has about 2 weeks worth of radiation left. Super. He shouldn't have as much pain as he does, which worries my mother. He had a CT on Sunday, but no one has bothered to tell me the outcome of that. He's convinced he's dying, I'm convinced he isn't, and on it goes.

Problem is that his illness has gotten entangled in a bunch of familial emotional stuff, which it is unwise and unfair to post. It's insane that I can quite happily talk about my father's mortality, but when it comes down to family matters unrelated to his health, there is suddenly an issue of privacy. So, I'm really sorry, but I can't update. Things are happening, but they do not relate (directly) to whether my father lives or dies. All I can say is that the cancer has destroyed much more than my father's pancreas.

If there is anything relevant, I will post again, but until then, this needs to stay offline. I'm really sorry, but I have discovered the limits of the internet. Some things are just too hard.