Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Cracks in the Masonry

My parents are fighting. I blame my father's pancreas. He gets irritable out of pain and then shouts at whoever happens to be around. So we are tolerant. My mother has started therapy, which she wanted me to come along to on Tuesday, but I have to be in London. My grandmother is throwing herself into courses and classes, which is good, but she is still not sleeping at night. Does it make me a bad person that I sleep fine? Am I more or less enlightened by not worrying the whole time? Am I in denial, or am I at the "acceptance" phase of the proceedings? I am pretty sure I could worry myself into a tizzy if I wanted to, but I don't really. I would rather sleep. Does that mean I don't care? I'm not really comfortable with these ideas, so I will leave them out there for the cosmos to deal with and come back to them when I have some answers.

In the meanwhile, plans have changed. And, apparently, I was given false information. So, listen up everybody:


Which means that I am unlikely to. Which is good news for my brothers and I, but bad news for my dad, as the non-genetic version is harder to treat.

So, I went in to the kitchen yesterday clutching a calendar. I sat down with my mother and told her about the Plan for the next few weeks. The first thing she said was "you really don't need to come with us to Houston". I am not sure I agree with that sentiment, but my father says the same, so lets go with that.

So, the revised schedule looks like this:

9th November: Back in London
16th November: Israel Again
22nd November: Fly with parents to Geneva
23-26 November: At some point fly back to London
Stay in London until I know otherwise.

What else? It's a bit stressful out here at the moment, although my father is feeling physically well, I think. Emotionally, everyone is a bit stretched right now, and the biggest problem is the relationships between each other rather than our own personal coping mechanisms. This probably suggests to me that something is faulty in those, but just because we are finding each other difficult right now does not necessarily mean that people are taking out their anxieties on each other. I hope.

Funnily enough, I have some work that I have to do and I have to supervise the repairs to the house, that was battered in the storm we have had over the last two days. Apparently the fuse box caught on fire on Friday. That's all we need!

1 comment:

  1. "He gets irritable out of pain and then shouts at whoever happens to be around."

    Remind you of anyone else?

    You sleep like a small child because you are one. It's not worth worrying about. Deal with fuse boxes instead.

    I hope it's not too selfish that I'm glad you won't have inherited a cancer-causing genetic mutation. x