Good news is my father is in radiation and its all going well. He is thrilled to be shot of the nasty chemo.
Bad news is I was supposed to go and see them in the states next week and I have currently been uninvited. I can't go into detail here because it's too personal and too painful, but if you really want to know you can find a way to contact me instead.
I am out at sea, then. We have managed to get to a point where it is less painful for my father not to see me at all. The little voice in my head says "what did you do and how could you have been so awful?". My voice replies, "No no. This was not of my doing. Well, it was, but not in an evil way".
Jesus, it's so hard right now to try to convince myself that I am not a bad person. I still have no hard proof either way. But things are changing and I don't know which way the wind is blowing or if I am having any effect on it.
Sorry to be cagey, but this is not a conversation that should be inflicted on the internet.